


honey you ain't foolin' me

by honestlylemmejust



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ! - Freeform, Cuties, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, High School AU, but also denial, its cute though, like pining and denial, like stupid amounts of pining, most of this is pining, sort of trigger warning i guess, what a lovely combination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 21:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1240690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestlylemmejust/pseuds/honestlylemmejust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi.” Harry says, looking up at Louis, and she’s smiling and Louis is really afraid she might fancy her a little.<br/>“Well, what do we have here?”<br/>Daisy giggles, hiding her face in Harry’s shoulder, her fingers kind of stuck in Harry’s hair. Louis can sympathize. </p><p>Or the one where Louis doesn’t want a new friend but Harry kind of wants Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	honey you ain't foolin' me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first genderswap fic and I'm pleased as punch with it honestly. I mean, besides the fact that it's kind of rocky in the beginning but anyways it only took me like a week to write so maybe that's why. I hope you enjoy!  
> big up to my best friend as always because she lets me send her my stuff first so she can tell me whether or not it's worth anyone's time. (follow her on [tumblr](http://wigglytoes-penisnose.tumblr.com/))  
> I want to write more genderswap fics in the future because they're really fun to write and I don't see enough of them so maybe that's a thing that'll happen.  
> Obviously this is a work of fiction.

The first time Louis sees Harry she’s on stage in a light blue dress, her unruly chocolate curls pulled up into a bun, her cheeks pink, and her lips are so red Louis could swear she’s wearing lipstick, but she’s really not.

Louis was genuinely considering auditioning for the upcoming play in this theatre program, she really was. Until her sister went all bat-shit crazy again and she was stuck with a big fat load of family drama and had to watch her little sisters for a night. She’s afraid it will happen again, and she can’t commit to something when she knows how unreliable it makes her.

She showed up to the auditions anyway, just to watch, which is very High School Musical of her. She’s always loved theatre though, loves watching people perform.

The girl on stage smiles, and she’s got these cute dimples which Louis is instantly attracted to, and also really wants to poke.

“Hi.” She says, quickly like she’s nervous. “I’m auditioning for the lead.”

Which, it’s not exactly a huge production, so this year they’re trying for Beauty and the Beast.

The girl sort of hurriedly scurries off the stage, peeking out from behind the wings and giving a timid thumbs up.

Then she’s walking out again, like she’s a completely different person. Which, she’s supposed to be so it makes sense. “Is he gone?” The small spark of worry in her eyes turns to annoyance when she scoffs, and Louis is impressed at how well she’s playing this small part. “Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him!” And okay, maybe her voice doesn’t exactly have the higher airy quality of a Disney princess, (like Louis’ does) but her honey-sweet and slow way of talking would have Louis giving her the lead role in any play for the rest of her life.

And then she starts singing, and it’s like the gates of hell themselves have opened. Or maybe the heavens. Yeah, more like the heavens. And Louis nearly falls out of her chair. When the girl finishes, Louis might clap and whistle, but no one has to know that.

 

+

 

Zayn teases her relentlessly about it and Liam just sort of laughs when Louis whines and asks him to defend her. Like Liam would ever go against Zayn; he’s totally smitten. And anyways, at the end of the day even Louis can’t deny those cheekbones.

The teasing doesn’t really let up on Zayn’s end, and it only starts to make Louis kind of sad, mostly because she’s only seen the girl once and doesn’t know anything about her, except that she’s devastatingly cute. Louis is pretty sure she goes to their school, but Louis would never _ever_ be able to work up the courage to actually say hello to her. _Especially_ because she’s so cute.

The universe is always kind of against Louis though. Most of the time she’s got bad luck, always finding herself in a compromising situation, more often than not without her even being able to figure out how she got to that point.

Which is how she finds herself running down the hall one morning, arms full of textbooks, absolutely, terribly late.  She’s stressed, as the year is coming to an end, and she’s already in fucking last year, and she definitely can’t afford to be late, and- she goes tumbling forward. Her books fly out of her grip, crashing to the floor, but before her body tumbles forward, she finds herself being caught by two skinny arms. So instead of face-planting on the floor, she basically topples over another human being. Who is a girl, with green eyes and- fuck. Dimples. And Louis is on top of her now. Wonderful.

“Shit, sorry.” She tries to get up gracefully, without crushing the girls ribcage with her knee.

The girl, however, isn’t so graceful, nearly falling to her own death and tripping over her own feet when she tries to stand up. “Maybe try tying your shoelaces next time.” She jokes, and when Louis looks down she finds that her shoes are indeed untied. She’s beyond embarrassed, really. That doesn’t even sum it up.

“Right, look at that.” Her face is on fire. “Sorry, you okay?”

She nods. “Meant to catch you.” And then she shrugs. “Overestimated my abilities by a bit, I think.”

Louis knows she should laugh, or maybe throw in a bit of banter, but she’s absolute shit at this. “Well, to be fair, you did seem a bit more graceful at your theatre audition.” And then the girl gives Louis a funny look, and honestly Louis wishes she could either take back time or just die on the spot, because fuck if that didn’t sound horribly creepy. Like how did that even come out of her mouth anyway? She’s sure she’s on drugs.

“Oh, you came to that?”

Louis nods, no point in lying now. “I wanted to audition that day, but I decided not to. You’re a natural though.” _Wow_ , she is really, really quite shit at conversation.

“Thank you. I was _so_ nervous.”

“Did you get a callback audition?”

She beams at the question, obviously proud of herself. “Yeah, yeah. I actually did. I can’t wait.”

“That’s exciting.” Louis supplies, flashing a smile hoping her nervousness doesn’t shine through.

“I’m Harry by the way.”

Louis locks that away in her mind. “I’m Louis, and I’m also running _extremely_ late. See you around?”

Harry nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “Of course. And don’t forget to tie your shoelaces.”

 

+

The thing is, Louis is a nervous wreck all the time, she really is. When she’s not at school she mostly stays home and stresses about school, or watches TV with Zayn and Liam when they comes over. She tends to avoid anyone else and mostly the entire world. Which is why it’s so surprising when Harry sits down with them during lunch, three days after Louis fell on top of her, smiling really wide at all of them.

Louis begs her heart to just stop, because Harry is _just a girl_ no matter how pretty she is, and she’s pretty sure everyone at the table can hear it beating.

“My friend Niall isn’t here today, so I was wondering if I could um, sit here?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course!” Liam beams, always so polite.

Louis tries to kick him under the table, but instead ends up kicking Zayn’s bony leg because it’s fucking hooked over Liam’s.

Zayn clears his throat at that. “And, you are?” Always so protective.

“Oh, sorry.” Her cheeks are pink. They seem to always be. “Like, I don’t know very many people here so. Um, I’m Harry. I saved Louis’ life the other day?”

“Oh right, yes of course. We’ve heard about you.” And thankfully that’s all Zayn says, but he’s no longer worried, in fact now he’s smirking and god, Louis just hates him so much. “I’m Zayn, and this is Liam.”

“His boyfriend.” Louis kind of sort of maybe blurts out.

Liam blushes and Zayn kicks Louis back. “We’re n-”

“No, that’s really sweet.” Harry smiles at them. “Good for you.”

“We’re not really together.” Zayn tries again and Liam blushes deeper.

Harry looks really confused.

“So, are you a senior Harry?” Liam asks, his blush not leaving his face, but eager to change the subject.

“No, actually. Why, do I look like one?” She seems to like the idea.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I mean. I thought you were?”

Zayn nods.

“What do you think, Louis?” Harry asks, turning her attention towards Louis who suddenly feels like she’s suffocating. “Guess my age.” She says, leaning forward.

“Twelve.” Is what she says, because she’s stupid and embarrassed and she doesn’t really wanna guess because she doesn’t really wanna know, and Harry is _way_ too close right now.

Harry laughs though, and it’s so sweet sounding. Louis is upset. “I really hope I don’t look twelve. I’ve just turned sixteen not too long ago.”

“Oh, Louis is eighteen.” Zayn supplies and Louis kicks him harder under the table, now that she knows where his legs actually are, glaring at him.

“Thanks Zayn, just let the entire world know how I’m the oldest person at this table not graduated and not dating, thanks.”

“I’m not dating.” Harry tries to sympathize, but Zayn just whistles at them and Louis throws some of Harry’s chips at his face.

“It’s because you’re twelve, Harry dear.”

Harry pouts and Louis hates everything.

 

+

 

When Louis exits the building, starting her walk home, Harry falls in step beside her and Louis nearly has a heart attack.

“Sorry!” Harry says, looking very genuine, kind (too kind), and apologetic.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Louis hikes her bag a bit higher on her shoulder and walks a bit faster, despite the fact that she’s so out of shape.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Harry asks, matching Louis’ speed, and just damn her and her long legs.

“I’ve got plans.”

“What kind of plans?”

She gives Harry a look. “Nosy, you are. Maybe another time.”

“Sorry, I don’t usually try and make friends this quick. It’s just that you seem really amazing, and I’m just really awkward and I like- I need a friend. Sorry.”

Louis internally shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the situation. “Right then. Well, I suppose I’ll let you walk me home.”

 

+

 

When Harry first brings Niall to their lunch table Louis is convinced she’s gay, especially because she’s quite touchy with Harry, wears a snapback, and literally stuffs her face with food. But then she keeps making heart eyes at Liam and Zayn is getting really protective, and Louis finds it hilarious.

Halfway through lunch Harry whispers to Niall and laughs when Niall’s face goes white and she excuses herself for a moment.

“What was that all about?” Zayn asks. Louis wonders too, she quite liked Niall’s presence if she’s honest.

“It’s really nothing.” Harry says, trying not to laugh.

Louis eyes her carefully, and then Harry scoots closer to Louis and whispers in her ear. “She seemed a bit like, infatuated with Liam so I told her he’s gay.”

Louis snorts.

“ _What_?” Zayn frowns. “How come you tell her?”

Harry smirks and just shrugs.

“I like Niall.” Louis announces, changes the subject, slightly. “She’s ace.”

“Please don’t tell her that, she’s the actual worst.” Harry rolls her eyes, and Louis laughs because that’s exactly how she feels about Zayn and Liam, but yeah, she knows exactly what Harry means.

So Louis and the rest of them let Harry and Niall sit with them, and Louis supposes that’s okay.

 

+

 

Eventually she actually gets used to having the other two girls around. Mostly Harry. Niall seems a bit more social, a long line of boyfriends, a couple of people she sometimes sits with that aren’t Harry or the rest of them. But Harry’s quite the opposite. She’s not exactly quiet like Louis usually is (until you get to know her of course), but she’s also not very loud. She seems genuinely nice, a bit reserved despite the fact that she reached out to them.

It’s about half a month before Louis even realizes that it might be a good idea to get Harry’s number. Even though she really hates texting anyone who isn’t Zayn, like, even Liam is horrible to text, and she certainly hates talking on the phone. But it’s just to be polite, so they all exchange numbers, and that’s that.

Harry doesn’t text her very often and isn’t annoying when Louis doesn’t answer or forgets to text back, and Louis likes that. Harry still walks her home most days, when she doesn’t have something else to do, and it’s nice. Louis is happy about their nonintrusive friendship. And yeah, she still thinks Harry’s pretty, like the pretty you never get used to, but she can live with that.

 

+

 

“So my callback audition is tomorrow.” Harry states as they’re talking home on a Thursday afternoon. Louis has got all these thoughts floating through her head and she’s barely paying attention. But then Harry looks over at her and she tries to focus for a second.

“You nervous?”

“Um,” She nods. “I was thinking about skipping school tomorrow actually, just so I can be prepared for it.”

“Maybe we should like, go get some ice cream or something, get your mind off of it.”

“Really?” Harry seems genuinely excited Louis is offering. “I’d love that actually.”

“Okay,” Louis starts to cross the road, Harry following closely behind her. “I know a really good place. Guaranteed to wash away all your troubles.”

“It’s just- um,”

“What?” Louis looks over to find Harry biting her lip, pulling on the sweater of her school uniform.

“I don’t have any money.”

Louis rolls her eyes. “Jesus, I thought you were gonna tell me you’re allergic to ice cream or something. C’mon Curly.” She grabs Harry by the wrist, pulling her along.

 

Harry worries too much, Louis decides. She worries at what’s too expensive, what will make her fat, what might give her a stomach ache. Finally she settles on an oreo milkshake, (but Louis that’s almost two pounds!) and she seems quite pleased with it. And despite her initial annoyance, Louis is happy as well. Also Harry does this tiny little dancing thing when she enjoys her food, and it’s absolutely adorable.

“Good?”

Harry takes another big sip through her straw and smiles. “Quite. Thank you again, so much.”

“It’s really not a big deal. Stop thanking me.” Louis doesn’t like praise and shit. She just wants Harry to enjoy her fucking milkshake.

“Okay, sorry.”

“And none of that either.” Louis tells her, because Harry’s too pretty to be sorry. “So tell me what’s going on in your life.”

Harry moves her head side to side, thinking. “Hmm. Nothing, like besides the theatre program thing, I guess.”

“Hm,” Louis doesn’t believe that and she’s not sure why she’s so interested, but she presses forward anyway. “How’s school? Anyone you need me to beat the shit out of?”

Harry laughs, or more like giggles, and it’s so cute that Louis can’t help but laugh along and want to cuddle the fuck out of her. “Nah, being Niall’s friend actually has a lot of perks. Like, she’s pretty popular, in the way that everyone loves her. At least in our year anyway. So, I mean, it’s not like everyone loves me too, but they just kind of leave me alone.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

She takes another sip of her drink, shrugging. “Like, it’s good. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not the most social person in the world.” They both laugh and Louis is glad to be breaking the ice a little bit more. She knows she can be pretty standoffish at first. “I’d rather spend my free time with my nose in a book than around mates, so like, yeah.”

Louis nods. “I’m not social either.” Like that wasn’t obvious. “People kind of suck.”

Harry nods back, but ten times more solemnly. “Yeah, but like, you sort of- like, you and Zayn and Liam are really nice and stuff.”

“Thanks.” Louis lets herself smile.

And then there’s the obnoxious sound of Harry sucking through her straw and nothing coming out because it’s empty.

“Finished?” Louis asks, and Harry nods.

“I’m just gonna pop into the toilets while you finish yours, if that’s alright.” She says, smiling and getting up, careful not to trip over her own feet.

Louis waits a long time. Well, not a _really_ long time, but Harry does take a bit in the toilet. Louis is a slow eater though, and she tries not to finish until Harry’s back because she doesn’t want her to feel bad for being so long.

When Harry comes back, she gives another small smile, a bit more reserved than before. She grabs her schoolbag, mumbles something about waiting outside for Louis, and then she’s gone.

Louis isn’t really complaining, considering eating in front of people isn’t really her thing, and at least now she doesn’t have to come up with more things to chat about while she does.

It doesn’t take her long, and she clears up the table quite quickly because it’s not exactly warm outside, it never is, and their school sweaters aren’t exactly the warmest. Louis usually brings a coat, but Harry doesn’t apparently. Louis can see her sitting on the windowsill of the shop, her back to the window, and she doesn’t necessarily look cold, but she probably is.

It turns out Harry smokes.

That’s not necessarily a _huge_ turnoff, not that there was anything to turned on to begin with, but it’s not off-putting. It’s just that Louis seriously wasn’t expecting it. Like, she was sort of under the impression that Harry was this like super wholesome girl who got good grades and came home on curfew and stuff. Not that smoking makes you a rebel or anything, but it doesn’t make you a goody-goody either.

She goes for the nonchalant route. “Ready?”

“Oh.” Harry looks up, sort of pale and looking like she’s lost in her own world. “Sorry, yeah.” And then she puts it out, doesn’t say a word about it.

They start walking a bit, and it’s killing Louis so she just blurts it out. “I didn’t know you smoke.”  
Harry tips her head back, sighs. “Yeah, I should quit, but.”

Louis knows this story. Zayn says he’s going to quit every time he pulls a cigarette out of the pack, and he still hasn’t. He doesn’t really do it much around her and Liam anymore, but Louis knows that he’s not quitting yet, and that’s okay because Louis kind of understands. “That’s okay, I was just surprised.”

“It’s like, it’s just stupid. I don’t know why I do it. Does it- like, are you bothered by it?”

Louis shakes her head. “No, definitely not. Zayn smokes, so it’s like- I’m used to it.”

“Oh, okay. My parents don’t know or anything, not that it- like, it doesn’t matter, but. I don’t know. Don’t listen to me.” She chuckles sort of self-deprecatingly.

Louis nudges her in the side. “Parents don’t have to know everything.”

She rolls her eyes. “Tell me about it.”

There’s a bit of silence and then Louis figures whatever, and, “Should I come tomorrow?”

Harry turns her head over to Louis so quickly Louis fears for her safety. “You mean, for my audition?”

“Uh,” She rubs her arm nervously. “Yeah.”

“Yes- yeah. Like, if you wanted to that would be really- it would be great.”

Louis shrugs. “Yeah, okay. What the hell, I’ll be there.”

Harry is positively beaming.

 

+

 

Harry gets the part and Louis may or may not cheer for her.

It’s actually incredible how well Harry does on stage, and Louis is strangely proud of her. She blames it on the fact that she just really loves theatre.

Harry’s so excited, she’s literally jumping when she sees Louis. She runs up to her and wraps her arms around Louis’ waist, burying her face into her neck and saying a bunch of thank you’s. Louis is a little overwhelmed, but it’s nice. She smells faintly of smoke, cinnamon and apples and it’s almost intoxicating. She had no idea that Harry actually liked her this much. As friends of course, because Louis is just not interested at the moment, definitely not.

“You did really well, love.”

Harry leans back from the embrace, smiling. “Yeah?”

“Well, I mean. You got the part.”

Harry doesn’t stop smiling actually. “Yeah, yeah. I did.”

Louis lets herself smile back, and she wants to show Harry that she’s happy for her too, but she doesn’t know how, really, so she just stands there awkwardly. “Do you wanna go?”

Harry nods, following after Louis and putting on her coat. Louis is glad she’s brought one today, considering she’s just in an oversized t-shirt and leggings, and Louis was definitely not about to give her coat away. Even though it might not fit Harry, Louis isn’t sure.  Harry’s kind of strange, all limbs and pigeon toed feet. She’s so tall and so skinny, Louis thinks she could be a model.

When they get outside, and start walking across the car park, Harry lights up a cigarette and Louis asks her if she walked to get here.

“Yeah, it’s not _really_ far.”

“You want a ride?”

Harry clears her throat, and nods before taking another drag of her cigarette. It hangs between her fingers daintily and Louis _really, really_ thinks she could be a model. She’s actually really hot like this, in her peacoat, her curly hair cascading down her shoulders, and her dark makeup. Louis has never seen her like this before. But it’s like hot in a totally objective way of course.

“Is that okay?” Harry asks, chewing on her lip.

Louis shrugs. “Yeah, might as well. It’s my mum’s van though, so no smoking on the premises.” She jokes.

“Oh yeah, right. ‘Course. Can I just-”

“Yeah, of course.” Louis says, now that they’re nearing the car and she leans against it with Harry as she finishes her cigarette.

“Do you want to try?” She asks finally, offering it to Louis, set between her fingers.

Louis shakes her head. “No thanks. I mean, not that I haven’t before. I just- I don’t like it?”

“Right.” Harry says, and there’s smoke around her like a halo, and she just looks so interesting like this against the grey sky. Louis can’t put her finger on it. “No worries. S’not for everyone.”

“You give people a very different impression of you.” Louis blurts out.

Harry looks over at her. “What?”

“Like- sorry. It’s just that you’re so different when you first meet someone. You’ve got layers.”

Harry kind of laughs, flicking the bum of her cigarette onto the ground and stomping into it. “Well, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?”

“The point of what?” Harry is standing in front of her now.

She gestures all around her. “Like the point of all of this. If you’re all _you_ in the beginning than there’s nothing to get to know and people get bored of you fast.”

Louis thinks she understands. “I hope you’re not bored of me just yet.”

Harry smiles. “Of course not. I’m just saying like, you’ve got to surprise people every once in a while.” And then she shrugs. “And then, like- I’m just a really private person. I don’t want people to know everything up front.”

Louis nods. “Now you’re starting to sound more like me.”

Harry laughs. “I think we have more in common than you think.”

“Possibly.” And yeah, maybe Harry is right. Louis is starting to learn a lot about her. “C’mon Curly, let’s get out of here.”

 

Harry invites Louis inside.

Louis says yes and she’s not really sure why.

Basically Harry’s parents aren’t home. She has a sister too, but she’s off with her friends all the time. Most of the time actually, she’s hardly ever home. That’s all Harry says, and she also lets Louis sit on the kitchen counter, so Louis isn’t really complaining.

“Do you want something to eat?”

Louis shrugs. “Yeah, what’ve you got then?”

“Like, just some leftover lasagna, if that’s okay?”

Louis is actually really hungry, so yeah. Definitely. “Sounds brilliant.”

So Harry sticks it in the microwave and then she turns towards Louis, sighing and crossing her arms. “Hi.”

“Hello.”

“Do you wanna see my room?”

Louis nods, and she’s not really sure why.

 

Harry’s room is like, lavender and all of her walls are covered with pictures and Broadway musical posters and shit like that. All of her furniture is dark and her bed is all messed up and Louis loves her room immediately. It’s like a room/cave and it feels cramped, but in the good way. The microwave timer goes off downstairs, but they stay upstairs.

“It’s really cute.”

Harry plops down on the bed. “I’m exhausted.”

Louis plops down next to her. “You’re not joking.”

“I hate school.”

“Jesus, school is the absolute worst.”

Harry sits up and looks down at Louis, sighing. “Lou?”

“Yes?”

“You’re like, older right?”

Louis snorts. “Are you calling me an old lady, Styles?”

Harry laughs too. “No, no. Of course not. Like- I mean, you are, but-”

“HEY!”

Harry laughs even harder, falling back onto the bed, so Louis takes the opportunity to see if she’s ticklish. She is.

Louis tickles her until she’s about to suffocate from laughing so much, and it’s fun and wonderful, and Louis finds herself smiling more than she has in a really long time.

Harry shoves her away, unable to stop laughing still. “You absolute twat.”

Louis holds her hands up like she’s not guilty of a thing.

“C’mon. I’ve made you food.” And so she takes Louis’ hand and guides her downstairs.

 

+

 

It starts happening a lot. Louis comes over to Harry’s after school sometimes. She never meets anyone in Harry’s family; they’re usually gone. Also Louis’ family is kind of insane and sometimes they don’t let her go places, so Louis has to tell Harry hurried goodbyes and leave really quickly. It’s mostly because she drives her mum’s car everywhere, because she’s got her license but she doesn’t have a car. Not that she can really blame her mum. Well she can, but she’s a single mom with like, a million kids and she’s been married three times. She’s doing the best she can Louis guesses. And it doesn’t really help that her younger sister is seeing a therapist and like, no one knows what’s wrong with her except for Lottie herself, their mum, and her doctor. It gets annoying. And then Jay’s got twins on the way, and it’s just female hormones and stress everywhere, and of course Louis should be helping because she’s the oldest, and while she does, she also has to just get out of there every once in a while.

She spends a lot of time with Zayn and Liam usually, spending the night usually at Zayn’s house when it gets too crazy, but he’s a boy and even though he’s gay, he’s still totally a boy. Louis is glad she’s friends with Harry because she kind of needed it.

The first time Louis spends the night at Harry’s house it’s not planned and everyone is yelling at her house, so she says she needs to toilet and jumps out the window, deciding to walk to Harry’s. It’s not really that far, and she just needs to get away from everything.

She picks up on the second ring when Louis calls.

“Hi.”

“Can I stay the night?”

“Oh.” Harry’s silent for a second. “Of course you can. Is everything okay?”

Louis sighs. “I’ll tell you about it later. I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Okay, be safe.”

She smiles. “Thanks Curly. See you in a bit.”

 

She’s absolutely freezing when she gets to Harry’s front door, ringing the bell.

It’s not too late, probably around nine so it’s quite dark outside and really, really cold as well.

Harry pulls Louis into the house by the arm as soon as she opens the door, bringing her close so she can talk quietly, although Louis isn’t sure why. “Are you fucking crazy?”

Louis shrugs. “Just cold.”

Harry rolls her eyes. “What am I gonna do with you?”

The house feels nice, and the TV is on and it’s a weekend and Louis feels more at home here than she ever has in her own home. “Hi.”

Harry laughs. “Hi.”

“Not to be the absolute worst, but I’ve not had dinner?”

Harry smiles, drags Louis into the kitchen by the wrist and starts making her a plate.

There’s another girl in the room.

“Oh. Hi.” Louis says, feeling sort of strange. She’s never seen anyone else in the house besides Harry.

She looks almost just like Harry, and it’s obvious that they’re sisters. In fact, Louis kind of recognizes her from one of her classes. She’s sitting on the kitchen counter, legs crossed and drinking water. “I know you.”

“You’re in my Literature class, aren’t you?”

She taps something into her phone, a bit distracted. “Uh, yeah. Gemma.”

“I’m Louis.”

“Friend of Harry’s?” She seems a bit surprised actually, but like she’s trying to keep that under wraps.

Louis can’t help it when she smiles. “Uh, yeah. I am.”

She clears her throat obnoxiously. “Well remember if something happens to her when you’re around I will actually murder you, so.” And then she hops of the counter and Louis watches her leave the room. “Just ignore her.” Harry says, offering Louis a plate of food. Louis isn’t really sure what it is, but it looks delicious. Maybe Italian? She doesn’t really care if she’s honest, she’s just really fucking hungry.

“This looks heavenly.”

Harry motions over towards the kitchen table and Louis follows after her, sitting down.  “I made it myself.”

“Are you serious?” Louis asks, and then she takes a bite, and oh my god. It’s even better than the other leftovers Louis has had at her house. Which were also very good. “ _Are you serious_?”

“Yeah, I make all the food you eat here- well, usually. Not like, the stuff you microwave obviously.”

Louis chuckles. “I’m really surprised. I can’t even lift a finger in the kitchen for fear of things catching on fire. This is absolutely ace. You’re like, totally brilliant.”

Harry shrugs, a small smile playing on her lips. “Well, thanks.”

Louis takes another bite. “ _Brilliant_.” She reiterates.

“Are you feeling warmer? Should I get you a jumper or something?”

Louis shakes her head, even though she’s still a bit chilly, but it’s really nothing. “I’m fine. I’ll be needing some clothes to sleep in and shit, but yeah.”

“That’s fine.”

“Are your parents here? ‘Cause like, it’s the weekend, so.”

Harry seems a bit more guarded at the mention of her parents and she nods, jabbing a finger in the direction of the living room. “Yeah, dad’s just there. Mum’s on a trip, so yeah.”

“Ah, right.”

And then there’s this awkward silence in which Louis just stuffs her face so they can just get up to Harry’s room because she just wants to cuddle in some blankets and watch something on Harry’s TV.

It doesn’t take long before they’re heading upstairs, and Harry’s dad doesn’t even say a single thing when they pass by the living room. Louis isn’t sure he even notices Harry has someone over at all. It’s a little strange. Kind of the total opposite of Louis’ life. Her mum wants to know everything she’s doing, all of her plans. It’s no wonder Louis is so anxious about everything.

Harry starts throwing some of her clothes in the hamper and Louis just lets herself on Harry’s bed, taking the extra blanket at the foot and draping it over herself.

“So, you didn’t bring anything?” Harry asks, hand on her hip.

Louis lifts her head and gives Harry a worried look. “I really didn’t.”

She chuckles and then shakes her head. “You’re so weird.”

Louis sighs and drops her head back on the bed. “Ugh.”

“What do you like to sleep in?”

She shrugs, staring up at the ceiling. “Shorts are fine. I like t-shirts. I usually just sleep in my pants if I’m honest.”

“I don’t mind.” Harry says, chucking a t-shirt at Louis. It hits her in the face. “I might have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. Let me go check.”

Louis continues to stare at the ceiling as she hears the door shut. And then she stares at the ceiling some more when Harry gets back, throwing a brand-new toothbrush box at her stomach. “You suck.”

“I’m awesome. I just gave you tons of stuff.”

Louis rolls her eyes, sitting up. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“It’s the very next room down the hall.”

So Louis goes to change and brush her teeth really quick, splashing some water on her face because she thinks maybe it was obvious she was crying on her way here, and she feels a bit like she’s on fire. She’s almost tempted to snoop, as this bathroom looks like it’s only being used by one person, but she doesn’t. Louis assumes that Harry’s sister has her own bathroom, and her parents as well. Must be nice.

She runs back into Harry’s room because she’s got no trousers on, and Harry’s just gotten on her clothes, god bless the lord, because Louis might have had a heart attack had she walked in on Harry changing still.

“How’d it go?”

“Fine. I just wanna get in bed.”

“Um,” Harry hesitates, but Louis doesn’t. She just gets in Harry’s bed, burying herself under the covers.

Louis smiles. “Unless you want me on the floor, I don’t mind sharing.”

“Yeah- no, that’s completely fine.” Harry says, smiling back softly. “Do you wanna watch something?”

Louis shakes her head against the pillow. “Too sleepy.”

“You’re so old.”

“Hmm,” Louis agrees. “Exhausted.”

Harry turns on the bedside lamp and then crosses the room to turn out the light. “That’s okay.” And then she’s getting in on the other side of the bed. Louis feels it dipping as she stares at the ceiling when Harry turns out the lamp. “Night, Lou.”

“Night.” Louis guesses Harry isn’t really a nighttime talker.

But then maybe five minutes later. “Hey, Louis. You’re awake?”

She bites back a small laugh. “Hi. Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

And there it is. Louis wasn’t really expecting that. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Harry pauses. “You came over here at the last minute, without anything, and you never come over on the weekends.”

Louis rolls over to find Harry already rolled over and looking at her. She sighs. “I just kind of had to get out of my house.”

“Why didn’t you go to Zayn’s?”

Normally Louis would make a joke, ask Harry if she’d rather Louis go there instead, but this seems like the moment where Louis should be a normal person and not make jokes about things. She should just be honest with Harry. “I feel home here. I haven’t had a girl- like, been friends with a girl ever. Not really.” She’s avoiding the GF word.

“ _Oh_.” Harry says, and yeah. Louis kind of feels that too. “Well, I’m glad. I mean, I guess I have. But- I just wanna be really close friends with someone for once.”

“Yeah.” Louis breathes. They’re not lying _really_ close to each other, but they’re facing each other and both sort of studying the other one, slightly. Maybe a lot in Louis’ case. Whatever, it’s dark.

“Goodnight, Louis.” Harry says, and then Louis feels a kiss placed on her forehead and Harry turns the other way, apparently done with the conversation. Which isn’t really a bad thing, considering Louis was sensing the conversation going in a pretty serious direction.

She’s quite sleepy, so she closes her eyes and it doesn’t take long before she’s very fast asleep.

 

+

 

Harry, as it turns out, makes bacon too. Louis thinks she’s in love with her. Not literally. Louis is so not in love with Harry. She just loves bacon. Really.

And then she makes an excuse, after eating a delicious breakfast in Harry’s home that they’re the only ones awake in, saying how she needs to get back because her mum is probably worried, which is another word for more than extremely cross, and Louis is the worried one. But yeah, she should probably get going.

She doesn’t take off Harry’s shirt, because she likes it, and she pulls on her jeans from the night before.

Harry tells her it’s okay, and that she understands. She kisses Louis on the cheek when she leaves.

 

+

 

Zayn takes notice of the fact that Louis and Harry are getting closer in that mysterious Zayn way he always does. It’s almost creepy. Louis figures it’s kind of obvious though, the way that Harry leans her head on Louis’ shoulder at lunch or how Louis steals food from Harry’s plate, which always seems to have an abundance of food on it. Sometimes they pinch each other’s sides, or whisper jokes in each other’s ears, since the inside jokes are becoming a bit more and more of an occurrence between them. Even Niall starts noticing, and Louis realizes that their friendship is becoming a real friendship now, instead of the nonintrusive acquaintance they used to have, and Louis definitely likes this better.

They start texting a lot, and sometimes they send each other stupid snap chats. Louis feels happy and it’s nice. Not that they’ve told each other secrets or anything, and Louis hasn’t spent the night again, but it’s just nice. They never really run out of things to talk about.

Zayn is suspicious of Louis’ motives, but honestly at this point Louis just really likes Harry’s friendship, so she tells Zayn to fuck off, which also feels nice, because he’s wrong about a lot. Also it gave her an opportunity to grill him about the Liam situation which still isn’t confirmed, but Louis knows they’re meant to be.  Because they totally are.

 

+

 

“So, there’s this party this weekend.” Zayn says casually, glancing over at Louis.

Niall gets really excited, of course, because she’s Niall. “Is it your party? Are you inviting us??”

Zayn laughs. “It’s not our- my party.” And Louis stores that away in her mind that he’s is now referring to him and Liam as a unit. “I was invited by Nick, and he said I could bring whoever I wanted, so I think you guys should come.”

Louis shrugs. “Like, I would but I’ve had all this backed up school work and-”

“And you’re making excuses.” Zayn cuts her off. “If you don’t wanna go, just say you don’t wanna go. Harry?” And then he turns his attention to Harry who distractedly scoots closer to Louis at the mention

of her name. “You wanna go?”

“Probably not if Louis doesn’t go. I’m not really a party person.”

“Yeah, see Zayn, not everyone wants to go to your dumb party.” Louis adds in, throwing her arm around Harry.

Zayn laughs. “Right, well it was worth a shot anyway. You never come to anything.”

Louis shrugs. “Not my thing.”

“Alright, so Niall what do you know about Nick?” Zayn says, changing the subject and him and Liam suddenly seem very interested in what Niall has to say, and Louis knows exactly what they’re doing.

“Do you really not wanna go?” She asks Harry, and she knows she’s sort of playing right into Zayn’s hands, but like, whatever.

Harry shrugs. “I mean, I haven’t been to a party in a really long time, but the last time I ended up in the corner just watching everyone and I felt a bit out of place.” She gives Louis a sort of disgusted look. Well not really disgusted, just mildly maybe. “But maybe it’ll be more fun if it’s the two of us?”

Louis bites her lip, tries to figure out if she agrees.

“It’s just that Zayn seemed a bit upset at you. Not that it’s like, any of my business. But-”

“Yeah- no, you’re totally right. We should go, and it’ll be- I think it’ll be more fun if you’re there.”

Harry smiles and nods. “Yeah, definitely. Or, I hope anyway.”

Louis laughs, pokes her in the stomach. “Of course it will.”

Zayn’s still paying close attention to what Niall has to say, something about doing Liam’s hair really short, and Zayn’s grabbing Liam by the head and shaking his head.

“Zayn,”

And then his head whips toward Louis.

“We’re going to the party. But you’re picking me up _and_ this party better not be shite.”

Zayn beams and crosses his heart.

Louis sighs, and looks over to Harry who just smiles and shrugs. She doesn’t know why she says yes to these things honestly.

 

+

 

Harry looks flawless and Louis is in her pajamas. It’s not fair.

She’s got on these ripped up black skinny jeans, and some stupid band t-shirt, and she’s just really pretty and Louis is in pajamas.

She pulls Harry in the house, taking her upstairs so as to avoid her little sisters and her mum because she really doesn’t want to introduce Harry right now. She really needs to get ready and she needs Harry’s opinion so she doesn’t look like an absolute knob, and she’s just really nervous about this party. Like, _really nervous_.

Harry stands awkwardly in the middle of Louis’ bedroom as Louis starts tossing items of clothing out onto her bed. “I don’t know _what_ I’m gonna wear.”

“Well,” Harry crosses over towards the bed, toeing off her boots as she walks, nearly tripping and falling onto the floor. She sits cross legged on Louis’ bed and starts picking out items, examining them. There are clothes being tossed in her general direction, sometimes at her face, which makes things a bit harder, but she’s trying to help. “How about this shirt?”

Louis turns around and widens her eyes. “God no, I didn’t even know I still had that.” And then she sighs, slumping over and plopping sideways on the bed, all over the clothes. “Harry, I need help.”

“Trying.” She states, pulling another item of clothing out from underneath Louis. “How about these like, black jeans? You could roll them up and they’d be super cute.”

Louis just shoots her a look. “I’m not also going to be wearing black pants.”

Harry smiles. “You don’t wanna be twinsies?”

She groans. “Why can’t I just wear sweatpants?”

“Listen,” Harry tells her. “We’re going to find you an outfit and you’re gonna look super hot, mark my words.”

Louis just groans again.

Finally Harry puts together a grey-ish t-shirt that Louis didn’t even know she owned, with some like weird faded picture on it, and it looks kind of cool. Then she finds Louis’ old grey jeans, and she rolls up the cuffs at the bottom, pairing it with some vans, a dark blue hoodie and a cute grey beanie, and Louis cheers. It’s really cute, and yeah, maybe she doesn’t feel like wearing it, but it’s cute and Harry picked it out and she loves it.

“And maybe wear that jean jacket over it?” Harry suggests, looking at the outfit she set’s set out on the bed. “Do you like it?”

“Yes, it’s super cute. I love it.”

Harry smiles. “Yeah? Good. I’m just gonna be out here so you can change.”

“Yeah, okay. Zayn’ll be here soon, so.” She nods, and suddenly she feels kind of awkward for some reason. “Okay, get out.”

Harry laughs, rolls her eyes and leaves the room with her shoes in her hand.

Louis takes off her clothes, getting the new ones on. She’s already done her makeup, which isn’t as good as Harry’s, and she’s glad about the beanie because she doesn’t really like her hair right now either.

She’s getting on her pants, pulling them up and jumping up and down when she hears a noise. “Harry, are you sitting outside the door?”

There’s the sound of muffled laughter. “Yes.”

Louis furrows her eyebrows, wondering why that’s so funny, but finishes getting ready anyway.

When she opens the door, she’s sees the twins, one of them sitting on Harry’s lap, and they’re braiding Harry’s hair.

“Hi.” Harry says, looking up at Louis, and she’s smiling and Louis is really afraid she might fancy her a little.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Daisy giggles, hiding her face in Harry’s shoulder, her fingers kind of stuck in Harry’s hair. Louis can sympathize.

“They found me, and they wanted to do my hair.” Harry shrugs and if she doesn’t stop smiling Louis is going to punch her in the face because it’s too goddamn cute.

“It’s beautiful. Good job, lovelies.” Louis says to the girls, but also the first bit partly to Harry as well, because her hair is always beautiful. Louis is totally jealous of it, but that’s beside the point.

Zayn’s already texted her, and he’s probably pulling up right now, and Louis has to get past her mum noticing them and they’ve really gotta go. “Zayn’s just texted me. He’s almost here.” She says to Harry, who nods.

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey girls, Harry and I have to go, so do you think you can say goodbye?”

They pout, but they’re usually pretty good about listening to Louis, so they give Harry a kiss on each of her cheeks and then before they can run away Louis calls after them.

“Don’t tell mum I’m leaving, or about Harry, okay?” She puts a finger to her lips, and Phoebe pretends to zip her lips. “Good.” She tells them and they run downstairs.

Harry laughs and stands up, trying to undo some of the braids in her hair. “They’re adorable.”

“And a pain. Ready?”

She nods, and Louis is about to start walking towards the stairs before Harry grabs her by the arm. “Hold on.” Louis holds her breath because Harry steps forward so she’s right in front of Louis, taking off her glasses and her eyes drop down to Louis’ lips. Louis kind of panics internally, wondering where the hell this is going and if this is really happening to her in the upstairs hallway, right now, surrounded by pictures of her family on the walls, judging her. She could think of more ideal circumstances.

Harry just smiles though, still standing really close, and Louis feels kind of dumb even though the air around them feels thick right now. “Can you see?”

“Mostly.” She breathes.

Harry puts the glasses in Louis’ hand and smiles. “Perfect.”

Louis smiles back and then clears her throat, taking a step back and pointing towards her room because she’s apparently incapable of speaking. She pushes past Harry, sets the glasses on her desk and then they go down the stairs together, Louis checking if the coast is clear before they run out the front door and across the walk. Thankfully Zayn has just showed up, so they pile in the car giggling, and Zayn peels out. The feeling from earlier has sort of dissipated, and Louis still feels really nervous about the party but she also feels really excited, like she’s actually doing something good for herself for once.

 

+

 

There are a lot of people at the party, and as they’re walking up to the house Harry pulls Louis close and whispers, “I’m nervous.”

Louis nods. “Me too.”

“I dated the guy who’s throwing the party.” Harry then says.

Louis pulls back and looks at her with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Harry widens her eyes back, but more in a warning way. She shushes Louis and then pulls her close again. “It’s nothing. Like- I’ll tell you about it later maybe. It’s nothing.”

Louis nods. “Fine.”

“You look really good by the way.”

She smiles as they walk into the house. The sounds all around them become infinitely louder, so Louis isn’t sure if Harry hears when she says, “You too.” But she does feel when Harry’s hand slips into hers, and she drags Louis into the kitchen where there are also a few other people, and Louis spots a keg, and it’s all very high school typical, this party.

“Do you drink?” Harry asks. It’s a bit quieter in here, but not by much.

Louis shakes her head. It’s not like she’s trying to be a really wholesome kid, definitely not. It just doesn’t exactly help her relax or let go. Kind of the opposite really.

“Do you mind if I do?”

Louis shakes her head.

So Harry makes her way to the fridge, reaching in the _way, way_ back of it and pulls out a beer. “This is the good stuff. Pretty shitty hiding spot if you ask me.” And then Harry somehow pops it open on the side of the kitchen counter, and Louis is kind of impressed. It’s another layer of Harry, another part that she hasn’t seen yet.

They talk for a little bit, while Harry kind of downs her beer. It doesn’t take long before she’s going in the fridge for another, and she keeps saying how she doesn’t wanna leave the kitchen because she doesn’t want anyone to know she’s found the stash of good beer.

It’s not taking her very long to finish the beers, and she’s complaining about it giving her a stomach ache and that she needs something easier to drink.

So that’s how Louis is anxiously keeping watch for Harry as she snoops around the kitchen for some sort of alcohol.

“Harry, you’re ridiculous. Are you sure you’re not drunk yet?”

Harry glares at her playfully and then laughs. “Definitely not. That’s what the point of this is.”

She ends up finding the vodka underneath the sink behind the cleaning supplies, and Louis is actually very nervous that it’s not vodka.

Harry smells it, pours a bit into the bottom of a plastic cup and tastes a bit of it. “Yeah, this’ll do.” So then she pours some sprite into a cup and Louis doesn’t know how much vodka she pours into the cup, but she’d venture to say that half of the drink is probably alcohol.

“You sure you don’t want any?” Harry asks, and the smell of alcohol is all over so Louis just shakes her head, and pulls on Harry’s arm, getting them out of the kitchen, not bothering to even get the lid back on the bottle of alcohol.

The night is kind of a blur for Louis, even though she hasn’t had anything to drink. They end up sitting on the couch in the corner, and Harry keeps getting progressively drunker. At some point she gets up for “more sprite” and Louis isn’t really sure what she comes back with but she’s assuming it’s more alcohol. Louis doesn’t really mind. Drunk Harry is really cute. She keeps draping herself over Louis and laughing at all of her jokes and she pouts when she spills her drink a little, but then it’s funny and she’s laughing at everything.

They people-watch since they’re in one of the siting rooms, where there a bunch of people talking and some dancing, and some drunk people, and some people making out.

Harry is really loud and Louis has to shush her a few times because she doesn’t want it be obvious they’re talking about people. But it’s really fun, and Louis finds herself laughing when Harry laughs because it’s actually kind of funny.

Harry hooks her leg over Louis’, leaning in and whispering in her ear. “I can’t feel my fingers. They’re all tingly.”

“Is that bad?” Louis asks. To be completely honest, she doesn’t know much about getting drunk or dealing with drunk people, so she might be a little worried. Not only that, but it’s getting late and although they’re in a quieter room, she still is feeling really weird about this party and the situation she’s gotten herself in. She’s not seen Zayn or Liam in a while. They saw Niall earlier, but she was busy making out with a guy so Louis and Harry made their way into this room instead of saying hi.

Harry shakes her head. “Feels good. I feel really good. Like, I don’t- usually feel this good.”

“Yeah, love. I know.”

She smiles, burying her face into Louis’ neck. “Like it when you call me that. And Curly. ‘Cause my hair is curly.”  
Louis chuckles. “Yeah, it is.”

Harry hums, and sighs.

“Have you like, ever been drunk before?” Louis decides to ask.

Harry nods against her, slurs out, “Yeah, all the time.”

“Oh.” Which, Louis wasn’t really expecting that. She’s never seen Harry drunk, and they talk a lot, so she would have noticed, right? “I’ve never seen you like this or anything.”

“It’s always when I’m alone and then I turn off my phone so I can- I don’t know. I don’t remember. I’m sad. I don’t wanna talk about that.”

“Sorry.” Louis says, pulling Harry a little closer because that’s not what she was expecting to hear and it’s just. Harry is such a nice person, she doesn’t deserve that.

“Don’t be sorry! You’re too cute.”

Louis feels herself blush, but Harry’s drunk and she feels stupid and she just needs to get to bed. She checks her phone and it’s almost one in the morning. She hasn’t seen Zayn, and it’s getting annoying. She really wants to leave.

They could walk and maybe it would help to get Harry some fresh air. But, it’s kind of far and Louis is tired and she’s really nervous that Zayn left them.

She clears her throat and tries to pry Harry off of her side. “Wait here, love. I’m gonna go find, Zayn.”

“Have fun!” She yells after her, and Louis giggles a bit to herself as she’s walking through the house. She feels strange and almost like everyone is looking at her, wondering why she’s here. Or maybe they’ve seen her and Harry and they’re wondering why they’re so close, or she’s just really paranoid, but she hates being surrounded by people.

She can’t find Zayn, and there are too many cars and it’s too dark to see if his is still here, so Louis just heads back to the room Harry was. That’s where she finds a tall boy with a floppy quiff talking to Harry, who’s sprawled out across the couch, squeezing her hands into fists and then letting them go. She’s looking up at the boy. Louis feels her chest heat up and she’s about to go beat the shit out of this guy, until she approaches and realizes that he’s smiling and _much_ taller than her and her heart is beating so fast she might actually die if she moves anymore, and jesus, she’s not sure what the fuck is wrong with her.

“Hi.” She squeaks out.

“Louuuu.” Harry says, and the smile she gives Louis eases her mind a little bit, because it’s all for her. Harry is so happy to see her.

“Oh, hey. I’m Nick.” The guy smiles and Louis doesn’t feel as threatened as before. This must be the Nick they were talking about. He’s supposed to be the host of this party. It also means that he’s Harry’s ex, and that doesn’t sit well with Louis. But it’s not like they’re together anymore, and it’s not like Louis owns Harry so she should just stop being an idiot.

“Hi. I’m Louis.”

He nods. “Yeah, Harry was just talking about how you wanna go home and you haven’t got a ride?”

She shrugs. “Uh, yeah actually.” She’s kind of impressed Harry got all that across. She’s not exactly been doing amazing at staying on one subject for very long, or even starting a sentence and remembering what she was talking about to begin with.

“Who’s your ride?”

Louis shifts her weight from foot to foot. “Zayn? You know’im?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s just upstairs with his other friend.” Nick waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “I’ll let him know you’ve gone, if you want a ride?”

“Um,” Louis doesn’t even know what to think of that, but she hopes that means her suspicions about Zayn and Liam are true. She looks at Harry, who’s clutching the couch pillow and her eyes are drooping. “Yeah, if you don’t mind I guess.”

“’Course not. I have to drive plenty of people home, I’m used to it.”

So they both help Harry outside. Not that she’s so drunk they both need to hold her up, but she does stumble a lot, which doesn’t help when she’s normally clumsy. So they both sort of try and make sure she doesn’t fall on her face.

Harry crawls inside the back of Nick’s car, which is this old, old car that looks like something Louis’ nan would drive. She guesses it’s cool if you’re like over ninety, but whatever. She’s about to shut the door, but then Harry says her name, so she doesn’t.

“Yeah babe, what is it?”

Harry sighs. “Want you to sit with me.”

“’Course.” So she sits in the back with Harry and Nick turns up the music, as if they haven’t had enough loud music for one night. They don’t talk because the music is so loud, but Harry is all over Louis and she keeps whispering things Louis can’t hear and giggling in her ear. Louis is relieved to be going somewhere that she’s familiar with, where there won’t be any people, and she’s just really tired so she just leans her head back against the seat.

Apparently Nick knows where Harry lives, and he drops them off, turning down the music and wishing them a goodnight, throwing Louis a wink and not bothering to help Louis drag Harry up the walk. He honks and waves, pulling off the curb. Louis shakes her head and tries to get Harry quietly in the house because she never knows if there are gonna be people there or not.

She finally gets Harry to go up the steps, and then into her room, and then they both just sort of stand there awkwardly.

“Are you staying?” Harry asks, and she nods.

“Yeah, I think so. Is that okay?”

Harry nods back, looking really sleepy, sort of swaying where she’s standing.

“Bed?” Louis asks.

She nods again.

They both crawl into bed in their clothes, both too tired to even care at this point. Louis checks the clock and it’s already half two in the morning.

Harry’s still very clingy, so she drapes her arm over Louis’s waist, bringing her closer and nuzzling into Louis’ neck. She throws a leg over Louis’, trying to tangle their legs together and then Louis is quite sure she’s fallen asleep.

It’s a really long time, and Louis is just staring at the ceiling, before Harry is talking again. “Psst, Lou.”

“Hm?”  
She places a kiss at her jaw, and then returning to the position she was in before, she places another kiss to Louis’ neck. “I had fun. I’m sorry m’so drunk.”

Louis shakes her head. “It’s fine, love. I had fun too.”

Harry sighs. “Okay, good.”

“Goodnight.”  
Harry sighs again. “Louis.”

“What?”

“Do you like me?”

She looks down at Harry, “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I have issues.”

“Hm,” Louis pulls her closer. “I do too.”

Harry takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She nods against Louis’ throat. “Okay. M’gonna sleep now.”

Louis chuckles. “Alright. Night, love.”

Harry hums, and Louis can feel her smiling against her skin. “Goodnight.”

 

+

 

Louis decides she likes waking up next to Harry.

They end up a bit further away from each other than when they fell asleep, Harry no longer on her side cuddled into Louis. But their legs are still tangled together, and Harry still has a hand on Louis’ arm at least.

Louis feels extremely tired, and a bit out of sorts from last night and from sleeping in her clothes. The clock by Harry’s bed says it’s only eight in the morning, but Louis can’t get back to sleep. She keeps thinking about last night, can still feel the ghost of Harry’s lips on her neck. She wonders if that’s a best friend thing. Girls are typically closer than guys, so it must be. Harry’s obviously straight anyway, and Louis thinks she herself is too. Mostly. Besides, she met Harry’s _ex_ last night and he was a guy. She sighs, willing her mind to quit replaying last night over and over.

It’s not long before Harry starts tossing a bit in her sleep, waking up slowly.

Louis expects some sort of massive hangover, resulting in Harry running into the bathroom covering her mouth with her hands immediately upon waking up. Kind of like in the movies. Instead Harry just groans, throwing an arm over her eyes. “I’m suffering from an absolutely colossal headache.” She informs Louis.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“Fuck, do you always talk this loud?”

Louis bites her lip, toning down her volume about thirty notches. “Whoops, sorry.”

“No, that’s me. Jesus Christ. I definitely didn’t drink enough water last night.” She sits up a little and rubs her head. “I must have been so fucking embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. You’re fine.” Louis wants to make sure she knows that she didn’t embarrass her one bit. Like, at all. “If I had known that drinking water when you’re drunk is a thing, I would have given you like, a gallon.”

Harry laughs. “Don’t worry about it. Thanks for like, staying. I just hope I didn’t say anything weird. I tend to be a bit- um,” Her cheeks go red and she kind of groans, but Louis figures it’s probably the headache. “Handsy when I’m- you know.”

“Drunk?”

“NO!” Harry flings herself over and covers up Louis’ mouth with her hands. “Don’t say the D word.”  
Louis starts laughing, but it sort of sounds muffled since Harry’s hands are all over her mouth.

“Anyway, you’ll have to tell me all about how much I embarrassed you later.” She smiles. “But right now, I’m gonna go take a shower because I probably smell disgusting. Unless- do you want one first?”

“Oh,” Louis shakes her head. “No thanks. I mean, after you, sure. Although, I don’t really know what- like, what am I gonna do while I’m waiting for you?”

Harry rubs her eyes, closes them for a minute. Louis can tell she’s definitely suffering a headache. And then when she looks up at Louis she seems to get an idea. “C’mon.”

Louis is being dragged by Harry across the hallway and into the bathroom, and Louis is briefly fearful that Harry’s one of those girls that like her best friends to take showers and baths with her, and Louis is about to panic and back away from this situation when Harry gives her a weird look, toothpaste in hand.

“Aren’t you going to brush your teeth?”

Louis is confused, but she just nods, and they brush their teeth over the same sink and it’s really strange because Louis has never done her morning routine with someone else around.

“Fuck, like- I feel like total shit.” Harry’s saying, and then once Louis is done with her teeth Harry smiles at her. “Turn around.” So Louis does.

And there are these noises behind her, but she doesn’t dare turn around because it sounds like Harry’s changing and she’s about to have a freaking panic attack, until she hears the shower curtain open, the sound of footsteps on the plastic tub of the shower, and then the shower curtain closing. Harry tells her to turn around and then peeks her head very modestly out of the shower curtain which is thankfully not too sheer, although if it was even just slightly more opaque Louis would be able to see mostly everything.

“See, this way we don’t have to stop talking to each other, and you won’t be bored.” She’s saying, but Louis keeps looking down at the clothes on the floor and thinking, Harry Styles is really naked behind that curtain. _Weird_.

So she complies, instead of just getting out like she probably should, and then she’s sitting on the toilet seat, which has this fuzzy cover on it so at least it’s comfy if Harry’s gonna be a while.

“Okay, so tell me honestly,” The shower turns on and Harry squeals quietly when it comes out cold. “How bad did I embarrass you last night?”

“None. Zero.” Louis says. “Like on a scale of 1-10, ten being the highest form of embarrassment possible, it was like a minus ten, so.”

Harry laughs, but it’s sort of breathy like she was trying to sigh but then Louis made her laugh. Or maybe the other way around. “Okay, well. You could tell me if I did.”

“Well, you didn’t.”

Harry does the laugh again and then says okay. There’s a bit of silence, that Louis doesn’t know how to fill, before Harry starts talking again. “So like, did Nick Grimshaw really take us home or was that some fabrication of a dream I had, or something?”

Louis nods, realizes Harry can’t see her, and then verbally confirms her suspicions. “Yeah, Zayn sort of ditched. Nick made it sound like him and Liam were fucking upstairs.”

There’s a thud, and then a surprised sound. “You’re joking.”

“I hope it’s true.” Louis says because that would be the single best thing to ever happen to her. “But yeah, Nick took us home- er, to your house.”

“Right.” Harry says, and it’s super weird talking to her like this. “He’s sweet.”

Louis feels an unwarranted pang of jealousy sweep over her, like she’s upset that Harry would say something like that about someone other than her. Which is ridiculous and she shakes her head, trying to get that thought out almost as soon as it enters. But still, she can’t help thinking about how it’s her, not Nick, that’s sitting here talking to Harry naked behind a shower curtain. It’s not that she doesn’t like Nick, he seemed perfectly sweet, it’s just that it’s _Harry_. And she’s not even hers, and not even like, on a romantic level. Even on a platonic level, Louis can’t just claim her like she’s territory or something. She makes a mental note to quit doing that shit because it’s bordering on creepy. She feels kind of needy.

“Yeah, yeah.” She says, after too long of a silence. “He’s nice.”

Harry clears her throat and then there’s this awkward silence and Louis wishes she could punch herself in the face because she’s _so stupid_. Harry is her friend, and Louis is basically ruining the whole thing. Basically.

“Hey, Lou.”

“Yes, Curly?”

She quiet for a second and Louis hears some noises before, “Forget it.”

Louis shifts where she’s sitting on the toilet seat. “No, what is it?”

“No, no. It’s nothing.”

And then there’s another silence and Louis thinks this was probably a really bad idea and she’s about to make some excuse and duck out of the bathroom, but then Harry sighs and suddenly she’s talking again.

“I was just gonna ask if you would walk with me to rehearsals today for the play?” But it doesn’t sound like that’s what she wanted to say originally.

Louis says yes, of course. Because why wouldn’t she? “And you’re sure you wanna go like, hungover?”

Harry laughs. “I mean, I’m sure I can handle it. I’ve done it before.”

“Okay.” Louis says.

“I’m almost done in here. Maybe um- get out?” Then she laughs again. “Like- I’ve gotta- I’m naked, so.”

Louis face heats up and she’s really glad Harry can’t see her and she tries not to stammer when she says, “oh okay, of course”, but she’s pretty sure she does, and then she’s out of the bathroom and back in Harry’s room within like a second. Everything from last night has been so strange. Actually everything since Harry even came into Louis’ life has been strange.

When Harry comes back in the room she hands Louis a fresh towel and washcloth, tells her how to turn on the shower, and then says she’s gonna get ready and make breakfast, so Louis can take her time.

She does.

It’s like, the shower is just a really good place to think, and Louis has a lot to think about. These past few days have kind of just been a whirlwind of _harrylouisharry_ and she literally doesn’t think about much else. Well besides the pile of homework at home, burning a hole through her desk, and the fact that she has to go home every day to the same shit. Especially on a day like today. But then there’s Harry and Harry smiling at her in lunch, or texting her something silly, and it just brightens up her day. Makes her forget that her life is a bit of chaos, makes her forget that she’s got all these other problems. She doesn’t necessarily fancy Harry, maybe she did at first because she’s pretty and maybe Louis isn’t, strictly speaking, straight, although she wanted to think so. Now though, it’s a different feeling entirely. She just feels like she needs Harry, like everything in the world isn’t right unless Harry’s there to ground her. She needs Harry.

She gets out of the shower, the conditioner barely washed out of her hair because the shower is making her think _too_ clearly, and she just needs to dry off and preferably walk with Harry so she can get out of Harry’s house, and then very soon out of her presence. The idea of Harry is easier to deal with than the actual presence of her, and Louis just needs some time to think without physical contact with the other girl, or like, Harry’s smell everywhere.

She should just go home and do homework or something. Try to actually get some information in her brain so she doesn’t fail and never graduate, which is an ever present fear on her mind. So yeah, that’s what she’s going to do.

When she gets downstairs, Harry is all ready to go. How she takes such little time getting ready, Louis will never know. She’s not really feeling herself, and not really planning on staying with Harry during rehearsal, so she’s just got her hair up in a bun, and she may or may not be wearing Harry’s clothes but no one has to know that. And if Harry notices how fast Louis eats her food and tries to get them out of the house, she doesn’t mention it.

 

+

 

Harry goes through phases, Louis starts figuring out. She went through a really strong orange phase, and then she went vegan for like a week and vegetarian for at least a month. Still though, Louis is surprised when she comes into the lunchroom to find that Harry’s chopped off all her hair.

Well, not all of it. Not even that short, really. It was just so long before, and now it’s about the length of Louis’ or maybe a little shorter. Louis is proud of the fact that she’s grown it out a bit. Either way, Harry’s hair is not quite shoulder length, but not quite chin length, and it’s beginning to look quite a lot like she’s cut it herself.

She swishes it around when Louis walks up, batting her eyelashes. “Do you like it?”

Louis knows she’s mostly joking with the mock-flirtiness, but she still feels the need to make Harry happy with her answer. Instead what comes out of her mouth is, “It’s- different.”

“Different good?” Harry looks a little worried, like Louis’ opinion is the one that matters most, which is absurd because Louis has horrible opinions. Besides, Harry surely doesn’t think that.

Either way, the last thing she wants is for Harry to be upset so she says, “Different good!” probably too enthusiastically. It’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that she _really_ liked Harry’s long hair, and most of all she liked running her fingers through it. She liked it when her sisters braided it. And she loves it when Harry throws it over her shoulder and fluffs it up in that way she doesn’t even realize she’s doing. She’s still pretty of course, Harry could shave her entire head and still be pretty, so Louis guesses what’s done is done.

“Good.” Harry says, although she still seems unconvinced, so Louis decides to run her fingers through it, pushing it back from Louis’ face. There are people watching of course and she knows Zayn will give her shit for it later, but this is purely platonic. Completely.

“Yeah, perfect.” She says, and then she backs away smiling and Harry literally beams. Louis isn’t really concerned about what Zayn says anymore, she’s mostly concerned with making Harry happy, and maybe that should worry her, but it doesn’t.

 

+

 

Louis’ mum is cross. But then again, Louis’ mum is always cross. She’s always saying do this, and do that. And you’re being so selfish, blah blah blah. It’s bad enough that she gave Louis at least a three hour lecture for when Louis took off that night of the party. Now she’s talking about how irresponsible and lazy Louis is. It’s no wonder she hates herself. Then again, her mother is under a lot of stress, and Louis gets that. But for once in her fucking life she just wants to act her age. Or the ages she never got to act these last few years.

So she does what she does best, even though it gets her heart racing and she’s afraid she’ll die every time she does it, she skips out. Says she’s popping into the loo during dinner. She’s positive her mum’s onto her, but she really can’t sit here and take this shit a moment longer. She’s got to go somewhere. Anywhere. A place that isn’t here and a place where there are no girls with short hair and lavender walls.

Zayn gives her a hug the moment he sees her, and Louis sometimes forgets what an amazing friend he is. He knows her ins and outs and he can tell when she’s upset just by looking at her.

“What is it this time?” They’re on his bed, just cuddling like they always do when Louis is on the brink of a breakdown. “Family? Is this about Harry? I know she’s a girl, but I won’t hesitate to break her face.”

Louis laughs but it sounds more like a choked off sob even though she’s not crying. “Not Harry. God, no. Even though- well, it’s not really the issue right now.”

Zayn pauses at that but then seems to reconsider as there are other pressing matters at hand. “Your mum?”

Louis nods pathetically and then she’s speaking again, and her voice sounds all thick like when she’s been crying a lot, and she hates that. Hates being vulnerable or breakable. She always feels fragile but she doesn’t like to show it. It’s like with Harry and her layers. Louis has them too, she just never peels them away to reveal what’s underneath. “It’s just everything. Like I do so much and my mum still hates me. _I_ hate me.”

“Lou,” Zayn says soothingly, stroking her hair.

“And I can’t even go out, I can’t do anything because I have to be, like, there every fucking time she calls. I feel like a slave or something. And it’s stupid, there are people with bigger problems, but like, I thought I was getting better but I think I’m just getting worse.” She buries her head in Zayn’s chest and tries and tries not to cry. She cries. “I’m sorry. Sorry.”

“Hey,” Zayn shushes her. “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry, okay?” There’s some silence, and Louis figures that he’s thinking of what to say. He always does this, thinking everything through carefully before he says anything. He wants to make sure Louis feels better instead of worse once he’s finished talking. “She doesn’t hate you, I know she doesn’t. It’s like, she just expects you to be there for her because you’re the oldest, and I get it, it sucks. I think she needs to realize you have a life too, and don’t _ever_ feel guilty about that. Ever. God, you’re such a good person, Lou. You’ll be okay, you’re always okay.”

Louis cries some more and eventually Zayn asks her if she wants to sleep and she nods. It’s a school night, but she’ll stay anyway.

Before she falls asleep though, feeling a lot less like she’s going to cry at any given moment, she pokes Zayn in the back where he’s faced away from her- because he’s not one for cuddling unless you’re Liam probably- and tells him she has a question.

Zayn groans, and Louis probably woke him up because he always somehow manages to fall asleep immediately. “What?”

“So like, are you and Liam together yet?”

He hits her with a pillow, and then goes back to sleep.

Louis thinks she’ll take that as a yes.

 

+

 

Louis graduates in one month.

She’s basically freaking out, and the only thing that’s keeping her grounded is the fact that Harry keeps talking her through it and telling her she’s gonna be alright. Which, she will, right? Like, no one has ever died trying to graduate, right?

The rest of the group isn’t much help because Zayn and Liam are kind of going through the same thing, but Niall bought Louis flashcards, and now she can see why everyone loves Niall. Except the flashcards are absolute shit. But still, Louis loves Niall.

So now, she’s sat in the ice cream place with Harry, going over what she needs to know for this week’s testing. Harry’s opposite her, doing the same. But Harry’s not graduating, so Louis thinks it’s probably not as stressful.

Louis has basically eaten her weight in ice cream today alone, not to mention the other days that she’s been stressed out. She likes to eat ice cream when she’s stressed, which, it’s not a thing. Maybe Harry is stressed, but she’s not even eating ice cream so like, Louis is pretty sure she’s the only one.

“Hey,” Louis looks up at Harry, who’s messing with her fringe. “Think I’m just gonna pop outside for a bit, yeah?”

“Oh.” Louis nods. “Yeah, go ahead.”

So Harry gets up, and Louis continues eating her ice cream and reading her textbooks. She figures Harry’s just out for a smoke.

When she finally decides to leave the building, Harry’s on the phone.

Louis doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but Harry is really caught up in her conversation, and Louis doesn’t know what else to do besides stand in the doorway.

“It’s not fair. I told them about this ages ago.” She rubs a hand over her face. “It’s like they don’t get it. I’m so fucking done. I’m not even gonna do it.” There’s a pause and then, “Like I fucking care, I just did it so they’d notice me. I don’t give a shit.” And that’s when she notices Louis standing there. Louis waves sheepishly and Harry shakes her head, rolling her eyes, obviously not listening to the other person on the line. “Hey Gems, I’ve gotta go. Yeah, you too. Bye.”

“Everything okay?” Harry stands up and they both fall in step with each other.

She shrugs, getting out another cigarette. Louis is assuming the one from before didn’t last very long. “Like, it’s really not.”

Louis doesn’t deal with other people’s problems well, but she’ll try her best. “What’s wrong?”

Harry sighs. “Okay, so the play is in like, two weeks, right?”

Louis remembers Harry saying something about that the other day, and Harry also wrote it down on the calendar by her bed for her. “Right.”

“Right, okay. Well, I told my parents about it two months ago and they said they would come, and then I told them a month ago, and then I told them three days ago.” She sighs again, but this time she sounds angrier. “So Gemma texted me that mum and dad said they can’t make it. So I went outside and called her and we’ve been talking about it for a long time, and I’m just really fucking upset because I told them. It’s just one night. They don’t even have to come on opening night. We only do it like, three times and then it’s done. Only three nights, _and_ I only asked them to come to one.” She kicks at the ground, takes a long drag of her cigarette. “God, I’m so fucking cross with them. They couldn’t even tell me themselves. Had to send my sister to take care of their shit.”

“Babe,” Louis says, and she doesn’t know if she should reach out to Harry or if she should just say something nice. She’s never seen Harry like this at all. “That’s fucking shit, I’m sorry.”

She shrugs like she doesn’t care, but Louis knows it’s the complete opposite of that. “It’s like, they always do this. I just hate them so much.”

“Harry, you don’t mean that.” Except she gets it, because sometimes she hates her mother so much she could cry about it.

Harry nods. “I do, Louis. I really do. They don’t care about me.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” Because, of course.  Louis would let Harry read the dictionary to her if she asked nicely.

“You’re the only person who has ever cared about anything I do. All of the shit I try, the reason I cut my hair, the reason I do the things I do, the reason I even do _this,_ ” she tosses her cigarette to the sidewalk. “is to get them to notice me, and they never do. I don’t know why I keep doing it, because they never _ever_ notice. But you do, and you’ll never know how much that means to me.”

Louis kind of feels her breath catch in her throat because she knows what Harry is telling her is really important and that she should probably come up with an answer that doesn’t give away how she feels about Harry too, but that shows that she completely understands. Except, there isn’t really an answer like that. “You deserve it.”

Harry shakes her head, but then she smiles. “I can’t believe you don’t think I’m a total fuck-up.”

“Who said I don’t?” She jokes, and Harry laughs. But then she decides to get all serious, and she kind of hates herself for it, but she has to know. “Is that what your parents think?”

Harry kind of nods. “Well, it’s a really long story. But yeah, I think they do.”

“Tell me sometime?” Louis asks.

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Wanna come over?”

“I don’t know, is the sky blue?”

Harry laughs and then takes her by the hand.

 

+

 

Louis starts going with Harry to rehearsal, because Harry’s decided to do the play even though her parents aren’t going to come. Louis suggested it, saying that Harry should just do it for herself since she’s worked so hard on it. Also Louis tells her it would be a shame for such good casting to go to waste.

She starts coming to practice because she figures Harry needs moral support. Sometimes even Niall will come, and she’s been so nice as well, Louis could just kiss her. They’re all going to the show, even Harry’s sister, and Louis knows it’s not the same as having the approval of your parents, but at least Harry will have people who care about her there.

Zayn keeps asking Louis what her motives with Harry are, and Louis keeps punching him in the stomach because if he wants to keep his thing with Liam a secret then Louis doesn’t need to tell him anything about her motives, which are nonexistent obviously. Basically she just needs Harry in her life to survive. That’s all.

It’s getting really close to the opening night, and even if the rest of the group doesn’t go every night, Louis is sure as hell going to. It’s only three nights, and it’s not like she really has anything better to do than to come see this play three times. At least Harry is in most of it, so she’s not coming for like one act each time. That might have been a different story.

Most of the time she comes to rehearsal and just sits in the back and studies, unless Niall comes, because Niall likes to talk. But sometimes she finds herself just watching Harry, and she’s so damn proud of her, she really is. She’s a natural on the stage when everyone else is falling apart. It’s a bit hard watching the parts where she has to practice kissing the male lead because according to her instructor it doesn’t look convincing, but Louis totally isn’t jealous, her and Harry are just friends. Even when some of the other girls in the group poke her in the side and it looks like they’re making fun of Harry having a crush on the guy who plays the prince, Louis isn’t bothered. Nope.

Okay, so maybe there is a bit of truth to what Zayn is always saying, but Louis doesn’t act on it, and she doesn’t really wanna think about it either because Harry is Harry, and it’s just. It’s not happening. Even if she really wanted it to happen, it wouldn’t be like, a possibility.

So she just keeps coming to Harry’s rehearsal, and she keeps being nice to Harry, and she keeps calling her petnames, and she keeps loving Harry. It’s not a thing.

 

+

 

“Louis, why don’t you ever have me over?” They’re sitting on Harry’s bed, Louis sprawled out on the foot of it, her textbook forgotten and laying on the floor. She’s exhausted.

Louis looks over to Harry, trying not to notice the way she has her knees pulled up to her chest like she does whenever she’s feeling self-conscious. “What do you mean?” And it’s obvious what she means, but Louis hasn’t really ever talked about her mum, so she’s not sure if she gets straight into it.

Harry shrugs. “It’s just weird, I guess. Like, on the night of the party? You told your sisters not to tell your mum about me even being there.”

Louis sighs, gets up to sit next to Harry. “It’s not because I’m ashamed of you, if that’s what you were thinking.” She nudges Harry who just smiles, all guarded. “Silly.”

“So-“

Louis doesn’t let her finish, just keeps going because she can guess what Harry’s gonna ask. “I have parent problems too.”

“Really?”

Louis rolls her eyes. “Yeah, looks like you’re not the only one.”

Harry nudges her this time. “Twat. Tell me.”

“Right, like- my mum is all by herself raising us, because my dad left a billion years ago, I don’t know. I mean, I kind of knew him I guess. And then she married two other shitheads and like, now she’s kind of a mess, right?” It’s not supposed to be a big deal, so she doesn’t make it out to be. She doesn’t look at Harry’s face either, doesn’t want to know if she’ll see pity in her eyes. “I have a bunch of sisters. Like, four and two on the way.” But then she looks up and Harry is appropriately surprised and so she moves on. “Anyway so she’s just always expecting things of me, constantly wants to know who I’m hanging out with, where I’m going, and shit like that. She doesn’t leave me alone, and god knows she’ll be mad at me at some point. And, I just didn’t want you to get like interviewed, I guess. I’m kind of embarrassed by them, and our family is just full of drama. Plus, she’s pregnant, so it’s like- just, you don’t want to meet her basically.”

Harry shrugs, leans her head on Louis’ shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind. You know my family is pretty shit too, so.”

“In its own way. I’d kill for parents who didn’t care what I do.”

Harry laughs. “I really want parents who yell at me.”

Louis laughs too. “We’re both idiots.”

“I know.”

Louis sighs. “Sorry I don’t share a lot with you.”

She shakes her head against Louis’ shoulder. “I haven’t told you everything yet either.”

“Okay.”

Harry turns her face towards Louis’ shoulder, places a kiss there. “I wish I could, but like- in time, right?”

“Yeah.” Louis agrees. “We’re gonna need to enact like an honesty hour at some point I think, because you feel like a mystery to me, Curly.”

“Like I’m more of a mystery than you.”

Louis laughs. “True.”

“Well, if we were being honest,” Harry says. “I’d tell you that you don’t need to be jealous of Nick.”

Louis kind of sputters because where the hell is this coming from. “I’m not jealous of him.”

Harry laughs. “Right, well. It just never worked out, and we’re better of unlikely friends, if you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t.” Except she definitely was, and it’s kind of a relief to hear.

“Right,” Harry says, and it seems sarcastic so Louis rolls her eyes, and pushes Harry off of her.

“Are you calling me a liar?”

Harry smirks. “Maybe.”

So Louis attacks her with tickles and that’s the end of the conversation.

 

+

 

Harry is giving out free tickets, which she’s been given two of for close friends or family members.

“I was going to give one to my sister, but I’m still not sure if she’s going. So!” And it’s this big dramatic thing because there are three of them (Liam is taking his only sick day of the year today because there are only two weeks left of school) and there are only two tickets.

Louis is positive one is going to her, so yeah, maybe she’s kind of curious to see who the second one goes to.

“This is quite a difficult decision, considering I love you all, but anyway…” She presents one to Louis, smile on her face and Louis takes it, smiling back. “This ones to Lou, because she’s coming three nights instead of just one, and the least I can do is let her come to the opening night for free.”

Niall looks like she’s confident the other one is going to her, but then Harry gets this solemn look on her face, holding up the other ticket. “Okay, Zayn. Listen to me.” And he seems like he’s genuinely interested because Harry never uses that tone with anyone. “The only reason I’d give you this free ticket is if you promise me you’ll give it to Liam and ask him on a date. But if not, then it goes to Niall.”

Louis thinks she’s in love with Harry.

“Wha-” Zayn looks a little confused. “Look, me and Liam don’t go on dates and stuff like that. Harry, you know that.”

“Right, but you are together.” Louis says, and it’s not a question.

“It’s complicated.” Zayn finally says, and Niall seems to be very interested in what’s happening, but Louis thinks mostly she probably wants the free ticket.

“Well fine.” And then Harry hands the ticket to Niall. “But I still think you should ask Liam on a date.”

Zayn frowns. “I can’t believe Louis has got you on this too. The thing is- it’s like-” he groans. “Basically we like each other, but it’s not a thing because- because Liam isn’t sure he’s gay, okay? You happy?”

Basically Louis has been right since the beginning.

Harry shrugs, and Niall seems to be the only one who’s worried about the turn this conversation took. “I still think you should ask him out.”

Louis agrees with Harry. “Yeah, it’s not like you have anything to lose. If he says no, you’ll still be together. And maybe he’s changed his mind by now?”

Zayn frowns. “I hate both of you.” It’s probably because they’re always right.

Louis smiles. “I know. But, I love you Zaney.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to, you know. I’m happy. I mean, I was happier when everyone didn’t know, but.”

“It’s healthy to tell people.” Harry says, and Zayn shrugs and Louis figures that’s that. At least she knows they’re together now.

When she’s heading out of the lunch room later, Harry grabs her arm stopping her. “Wait.”

“Hey Curly, everything alright?”

She smiles. “Of course. Meet me out front after school is over, yeah?”

“No rehearsal today?”

Harry nods. “But it’s later. You coming?”

“Yes, of course I am.”

Harry smiles at her. “Great.”

And Louis smiles back, and they’re both being idiots just smiling at each other until the bell rings.

Louis is reluctant to say goodbye to Harry. Like more than reluctant. She kind of wishes that they could just ditch school the rest of the day and spend time together. But of course, all good things to those who wait. So she gives Harry a kiss on the cheek instead. “I’m late. See you.”

Harry doesn’t stop smiling and neither does Louis when she walks away.

 

+

 

“Today is the last rehearsal.” Harry says, kicking pebbles as she walks. “It’s kind of weird, because it’s been in my life for months and now it’s ending. And then it’s summer.”

Louis nods. She definitely feels that. “Yeah, I hate it when things change. But I also hate school so it’s kind of nice that it’s ending forever.”

Harry hums in agreement even though she still has two more years left to go. “Are you going to university next year?” She sounds a little worried, but Louis might just be making that up, she’s not sure.

“Nah, I thought about taking a gap year probably because like- I don’t know. To be completely honest even though I hate it, I’m afraid to leave home.”

“I wish I could. I mean, I probably could.”

“What?” Louis looks over at Harry who seems a bit more serious.

“Like,” She sighs. “Running away. Getting away from everyone, from here.”

Louis frowns. “You’d be dropping out of school.”

She kicks the ground again, this time a bit more forcefully. “I don’t know. Who really gives a fuck about that stuff anyway?”

Louis is always practical; it’s kind of a curse. She may be a drama queen in a lot of ways, but she’s always thinking about the consequences of her long-term actions, always thinking about how it’ll affect her life. That’s mostly why she tries to do nothing. “It’s kind of important.”

“So I could just stay here for two more years, but like, not with my parents, you know?”

Louis shakes her head. “I mean, theoretically, it’s nice. But the real world is all- it’s like bills and responsibility and shit like that. It’s not freedom.”

Harry sighs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” But it doesn’t sound like she means it. “I guess I just wish things were different.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She lights up another cigarette, and Louis finds that Harry does that a lot when she’s upset about things. “Sorry, I know this is stupid.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

Harry’s silent for a bit, just smoking and being all guarded. It takes a while, but then she’s talking again. “Remember when I told you that my parents think I’m a fuck up?

Louis nods.

Harry fidgets a bit with her school uniform, and she seems a bit nervous. “It’s just like- last year I had some issues? Like with depression and lots of other stuff. Like hurting myself and not eating. Anyway, so I had to go into therapy for it for a while, and it was pretty bad. I’m better now, but sometimes I think about how that was one of the times that they worried about me. Enough to like, get me help and stuff. I can see that when they look at me now, like that’s the only thing they think about. Not all the things I’m accomplishing now, or how much better I’m doing. All they see is when I was helpless and small and it’s like I can’t take that away anymore.” She shrugs. “So that’s why I think that they think that.”

“Well, you’re not.” Louis says, and she means it. “You’re not and you made it through that, which is so amazing.”

Harry smiles. “You really think that’s amazing?”

“Of course.” Louis tells her because she really, really means it. “They always say recovery is the hardest part, and now you’re just- you’re doing so well, yeah?”

She takes another drag of her cigarette, dropping it to the ground afterwards, and then she laces her free hand with Louis’. “Thanks.” There’s some silence and then she squeezes Louis’ hand. “And for the record, I’d run away with you, you know.”

Louis smiles, and she’s not really sure why.

 

+

 

Once Harry’s last rehearsal is over, she comes running outside to where Louis is standing, waiting for her, and she gives her a giant hug. Like a knock-you-to-the-floor-because-I-don’t-know-my-own-strength hug. Louis quite enjoys it. It’s almost like when Harry first got the part, only better.

Her coat is scratchy on Louis’ arms and she smells more like smoke then on an average day and Louis thinks, but she isn’t certain, that Harry’s been really nervous lately.

“You know, I love you.” Harry murmurs in Louis’ ear.

“Yeah,” Louis says, because she does. “I love you too.”

And then Harry pulls away, and they start walking. It’s silent for a while, and Louis wonders about the conversation they had earlier that day, where Harry said she’d run away with Louis, and that maybe one day they will. When Harry’s older or something. But yeah, she doesn’t really see her life with anyone else, even if they’re best friends forever. That doesn’t bother Louis at all.

Harry bumps shoulders with her as they walk, and Louis notices that Harry’s hands are all fidgety, like she’s nervous about something.

“You nervous about the show?” She knows the answer to that though, she can pretty much tell.

Harry nods. “Something like that.”

Louis hums in response, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands because now she’s feeling cold. “Well, I mean-“

And then she’s being stopped and spun around to face Harry, who looks really serious, and Louis has seriously never seen her like this. Kind of like she is when she’s nervous, but also sort of frantic.

“Hi.” Is all Louis can think to say, and her heart feels like its pounding throughout her whole body.

“Hi.” Harry says, letting out a deep breath, and then her lips are on Louis’ and it’s like Louis’ in complete shock. But even so, she lets her hands find their way to the back of Harry’s neck, pulling on the short curls in the back and bringing her closer, because Harry’s lips are so soft and so perfect and she wants Harry to know that she wants this too, that she’d been lying to herself this whole time.

Harry is so gentle with her that Louis could cry. Her hands are on resting on Louis’ hips, but they’re barely touching, and Louis wants so bad to just push Harry against a wall and kiss her breathless, but not only are they in public, but this is a first kiss, and so Louis keeps it as chaste as she can.

When Harry pulls away, she’s beaming, and Louis pokes her dimple because they’re still really close, and Harry’s still leaning down towards her. She pecks Harry on the lips because she feels like she can.

“So I didn’t ruin anything?”

Louis shakes her head, even though it’s kind of strange and her mind is screaming at her that there’s some kind of catch and that she shouldn’t physically be this happy.

“Does that mean I can hold your hand on the way home?”

Louis bites her lip and nods her head.

“Are you gonna say anything?” Harry teases, pushing Louis’ hair away from her face. And she’s thinking that she really doesn’t want to say anything, because she’ll probably confess her love for Harry accidentally, and she doesn’t want to say anything because she’s second guessing this whole thing, and she doesn’t want to say anything because her brain is reminding her that she’s worthless and she doesn’t deserve Harry, which she doesn’t.

So she kisses Harry again. “You’re a good kisser.”

Harry smiles at that, and Louis is glad she’s made her happy, because her mind keeps telling her it won’t last very long.

 

+

 

That day Louis goes straight home after dropping Harry off and pecking her on the lips because that’s a thing she does now apparently. And then after that she may or may not turn off her phone and ignore everyone who ever existed.

She doesn’t go to school on Thursday because she feels kind of sick, and she knows that Harry’s probably texting her, but she’s knee deep in studies and she can’t bring herself to care. She knows that she’s kind of being a dickhead, but like, it’s just the way she is. She knows that she’s wanted this, whatever it is, with Harry for like, forever, but now that it’s there she feels kind of sick about it, like maybe it’s not what she wanted. She just needs time to think.

 

On Friday Harry’s not at school because it’s opening night, and she’s probably busy all morning. Louis should be a good friend and call her to see if she’s alright, but Louis is a shit friend who kisses people and then avoids them.

Zayn asks her why the fuck she’s not answering her calls, and Louis says she’s been studying and she forgot to turn her phone back on. Zayn doesn’t buy it.

“Why did Harry call me and ask if you were alright? She sounded really worried, and it had me all worried and you weren’t answering my calls and texts.”

“Jesus,” Louis says, and she knows it’s stupid, and that she needs to stop being stupid, but like, she just wants to be stupid and think about this for a few more days. “Like, it’s not the end of the world; I just turned off my phone.”

Zayn shakes his head and Louis knows he’s not convinced, knows something else is wrong, but Louis will be damned if Zayn tries to get it out of her this time.

Thankfully it’s just Zayn and Liam at the table, so when Zayn gets up, Louis hands Liam the free ticket and says that she’s not gonna be able to make it. Liam isn’t a great detective like Zayn, and they’re not as good of friends, so he just asks Louis why, and believes her when she says she’s not feeling well.

She hides in the bathroom until lunch is over.

 

When Louis turns on her phone she has at least fifteen text messages total, and ten missed calls. Apparently Harry was quite worried, and Zayn too, but mostly Harry.

Louis cares, she actually does. She’s not a heartless bitch, she’s just an idiot who can’t get her life in order and doesn’t know what it feels like for someone to actually care about her. Well, besides Zayn, but that’s kind of different. She knows what she needs to do, but she doesn’t do it. She tosses her phone to the other side of the room and she pretends like it doesn’t matter.

 

+

 

The thing is, Louis hates herself. She’s upset that she didn’t go to Harry’s opening night for the play. She can’t stand herself and she kind of wants to punch herself in the face because it’s so selfish of her, and she’s an idiot. But if she goes tonight it’ll probably just be worse, so maybe she should just wait.

Harry’s stopped calling, and she stops texting as well, because Louis doesn’t answer, and Zayn probably informed her that Louis is still alive. Louis hopes that Harry doesn’t care that much, but she knows that she probably does, and she knows that she should make things right. God, she knows that more than anything, and she’s a mess without seeing or talking to Harry every day, but it’s just that much harder to apologize now. She feels like she’s made a mess of everything.

She texts Harry that night, probably during the play. It’s stupid, and she knows that she should have done better, but it’s just that she can’t.

 

 _Louis: I’m sorry_.

 

Harry doesn’t answer.

 

+

 

The next morning Louis wakes up and she’s got a headache, and it’s like, she just really wants to go back to sleep and maybe never wake up. She’s not positive why she’s done this to herself, it’s just her stupid brain telling her things, like what she can’t have and she gets all messed up inside and she hates herself for it, but it’s the way she is.

She checks her phone, even though she knows that no one is talking to her right now. But there it is. A text from Harry.

 

_Harry: u better start talking x_

Louis kind of squeals a little because maybe Harry isn’t completely furious at her, considering she’s put a little x onto the end of the text, and Louis’ heart kind of soars because she’s missed talking to Harry so much.

 

_Louis: im soooo sorry, im a total shithead. im coming tonight if u still want me to? x_

_Harry: i have no choice. miss you x_

Louis misses her too, like tons and tons. Like so much it’s not even healthy anymore. Her brain keeps telling her things, like how Harry probably hates her now and things like that, but she’s trying to shut it off and just enjoy this for what it is. She’s gonna try not to get in anymore trouble now, try not to be such an idiot. Her excuses are so fucking stupid, but hopefully Harry understands, because Louis isn’t sure what she’ll do if Harry doesn’t.

 

_Louis: miss you too. ill see you tonight, break a leg x_

_Harry: :) xxxx_

 

+

 

The auditorium is full of people, and Louis had no idea that she was going to have to be early to get a goddamn seat. Not that she didn’t think it would be good, there are just _a lot_ of people here. She ends up sitting towards the back, but that’s okay because she doesn’t want to like, be seen or anything sitting in the front.

When it starts she’s kind of nervous because it feels like it’s been ages since she saw Harry last, and she wonders if these past two days have been hell for Harry as much as they have for Louis.

Harry looks incredible, and she acts incredibly, and she sings incredibly. Louis feels like she might cry because she just missed her a lot and she’s being really stupidly emotional, but it’s _Harry_ , and everything is different with Harry.

She’s spot on with her lines and her songs, or at least, Louis thinks that she is. She’s seen them practicing enough that she could probably quote everything verbatim, so yeah, she’s pretty sure Harry is right on. She sings along with all the songs and it’s just really nice to see how happy Harry is when she’s onstage performing. Louis is proud of her, but she’s also nervous.

When the intermission comes around Louis is sure that Harry’s going to come and talk to her, but she’s really hungry so she goes to the lobby to buy popcorn, and Harry stays backstage she’s pretty sure.

The rest of the play kind of speeds by in a blur, and Louis gets more and more nervous as the seconds tick by. She’s afraid that Harry’s actually really mad at her, or hates her, or tells her that she doesn’t want to see Louis ever again. These are actual fears.

But right now, up on stage, she just looks so happy and full of life and Louis wishes she’d never been such a horrible person to her.

The play ends and Louis’ heart is racing when she stands up to clap for the entire cast. In a little while she’ll be seeing Harry and she’s terrified.

Everyone starts filing out when the curtains close and the lights come on, but Louis just stays in her seat, not really sure what she should do. She’s not really sure if she could move if she tried, she’s so nervous.

But then she gets a text from Harry about five minutes later, and her hands are shaking when she tries to open it because this is it.

 

_Harry: ur here?_

 

 _Louis: yes, of course_ _x_

 

_Harry: Meet u outside in about 10 mins, okay?_

Louis tells her okay, and then puts on her coat, making her way out of the auditorium quite anxiously. Ten minutes. That’s all she has.

She knows that she could have done a lot differently. Not just in the past two days, but mostly all of her life she could have done a lot different. Either way though, she hopes she can make things right tonight with Harry, because even though she doesn’t deserve Harry, she really wants to.

 

Louis is standing by her mum’s van in plain sight when Harry walks out of the building with a few other people, wishing them a goodnight, and watching them all walk away before she starts towards Louis. She doesn’t look angry, she mostly just looks tired, and Louis’ heart is beating harder than it probably ever has. She’s so nervous.

“Hey.” Harry says.

Louis runs a hand through her hair. “Hi.” Harry’s standing in front of her now and she has no idea what to say.

Harry’s silent for a moment. They both are. And then she sighs, a white little cloud coming from her lips as she does because of the temperature outside. Louis tries not to shiver. “I don’t hate you.”

Louis lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “That’s really good to hear. Like, really good.” And it’s like the floodgates have been opened because Louis actually cannot stop talking. “Like- because I would understand if you did. I hate me for what I did to you, and it was stupid. I just get really messed up in the head because I tell myself things that aren’t true and then I shut people out, and I just thought that you could never actually feel that way about me, so I needed some time to think. And- okay, honesty hour? I’m terrified of you. Like, not you, but I’m terrified of the fact that I'm in love with you. You’re perfect, like, your hair and your eyes and your fucking dimples. And it’s not just your face, it’s like just you. You’re so considerate and kind and you just want people to care about you. I do, and I know I don’t show it, and I’m a complete and total fuckface, but I care about you so much. And- I’m sorry, Harry, I’m really sorry that I ignored you for two days and missed the two most important shows in the entire world. I wish I could go back in time.”

And then there’s silence. Harry just breathes steadily and Louis feels like she’s on the brink of exploding and how is Harry so calm right now? Louis wants to say something else, but she’s literally run out of words, and she thinks maybe she should say sorry again, but she doesn’t know how. She’s just waiting for Harry’s response and it feels like it’s taking all the seconds in the world to get here.

“You’re an idiot, you know.” Is what Harry finally says.

Louis wants to agree, wants to nod along, but she’s actually kind of worried.

“Like, properly. And I’m like completely in love with you for some reason.” Which, that’s a relief. “I kind of get how you feel. I’ve been a bit of a mess myself. When I kissed you I knew that something was going to change, and I was ready for it, and it kind of shook me up too I guess. But, now we’re here right? I completely accept your apology, and for what it’s worth, I’m a bit terrified of the fact that I’m in love with you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Louis lets out another breath and it feels like all she’s been doing is holding her breath. “Do you need a ride home?”

“Yeah, but I just really wanna kiss you first.”

“Okay.”

And then they’re kissing and it’s like everything in the world is right again.

“Lou,” Harry says, once they’ve pulled away and she’s resting her forehead against Louis’.

“Yeah?”

She sighs. “Can we go home now?”

Louis says yes, and this time she knows why.  
-

**Author's Note:**

> wowzers you made it to the end  
> I'm still really bad at endings, whoops.
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated, and as always, here is my [tumblr](http://sunflowerlouis.tumblr.com/). come say hi.


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